- For what sleep-related problem(s) do parents contact you most often?
- How long does an infant sleep on average per day?
- How do you know if your baby is getting enough sleep?
- Do you have any techniques for getting your baby to sleep quickly when bottle-feeding or breastfeeding at night? a>
- Do you have any advice on how to choose between co-sleeping and a separate bedroom?
- How to create an effective sleep routine?
- If your baby ever cries, should you let him cry so he can fall asleep?
- What to do if night wakings are too frequent?
- In what situation and when should you consult a professional?
- What is support at Fée Dodo?
For what sleep-related problem(s) do parents contact you most often?
Often, the parents who come to see us are in a state of exhaustion which can lead to breakdowns in the couple, mistreatment of the child or oneself, postpartum depression or even parents who are in distress. work stopping .
These parents have the feeling of being completely helpless , they come to us after having consulted the doctor, the pediatrician, the midwife, the nursery or even the childminder. They have had a very long journey, with a void and absence of response and often support and even consideration. They are physically and psychologically exhausted.
The most common problem concerns restless children and/or babies who often wake up at night, who have insomnia and who can stay awake between 1 hour and 3 hours before going back to sleep, which will impact sleep and the daily rhythm of the children. parents .
The second most common problem is “my child cannot fall asleep alone” . Parents will spend hours putting their children to sleep, trying several techniques (rocking, singing, cuddling, etc.) and very often as soon as they put them in bed, they wake up.
We are also frequently contacted for “my child refuses to take a nap” , or “ he only takes short 30 minute naps, he takes a long time to fall asleep” . It is important to emphasize that nap time is essential for children up to 4 years old.
Finally, we are often asked for children who wake up from naps or at night screaming, or for whom there is a lot of crying around sleep, whether before, during or upon waking.
How long does an infant sleep on average per day?
For a baby between 0 and 2 months , the average sleep time is 17 hours to 18 hours per day.
Depending on the children, this range can go from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. , divided from 8 to 10 a.m. during the day and from 8 to 12 p.m. at night.
At Fée Dodo, we provide free support to parents such as our articles classified by age, which can be found right here . You can also download our summary table of sleep times based on your child's age.
How do you know if your baby is getting enough sleep?
The table cited above is a good tool for knowing the averages. However, observing the child can be very interesting. For example, children waking up screaming or crying from a nap may be an indicator of sleep deprivation.
The baby's general condition must also be taken into account; a serious lack of sleep will be characterized by children called “owl children” . They have a lot of trouble falling asleep in the evening or for naps, they have trouble letting go and this is characterized by hyper vigilance.
Here are some indicators that can help you spot if your child is sleep deprived:
- Babies: look everywhere, curious about the world around them, ask for “arms” a lot and start crying as soon as they are put down, or the parents leave.
- For children (2 and 3): rub their eyes, yawn, cry a lot, cannot manage their frustration, are faced with emotional storms.
- In older children: at bedtime, become extremely excited, run everywhere, are difficult to control. Over-fatigue and chronic lack of sleep cause over-excitement. They are restless and constantly moving, they do not listen to the rules, they have great difficulty concentrating on an activity, etc.
Do you have any techniques for getting your baby to sleep quickly when bottle-feeding or breastfeeding at night?
No ! Because the sleep cycle and sleep problems have nothing to do with techniques.
At Fée Dodo, we do not offer a method, it makes no sense. Each sleep problem is linked to a specificity of the child : his age, his weight, his diet, his sleep per 24 hours, his sleeping environment, etc. Overall, we have around a hundred criteria to check to understand this. what's happening.
Do you have any advice on how to choose between co-sleeping and a separate bedroom?
Yes, that of listening to yourself.
Sleep is really linked to parental values , finding the right balance between desire and need. Today, 99% of sleep problems are linked to a lack of information for parents.
WHO recommends room sharing , but not bed sharing for up to 6 months to prevent Unexpected Infant Death (IND) .
On the other hand, there are no studies on the increased rate of hypervigilance and postpartum depression or insomnia among parents who sleep in the same room and are awakened by the baby's noises.
The reality is that there is a lot of co-sleeping in “bed-sharing”, that is to say, sharing a bed, which is not at all recommended by the WHO because it exponentially increases the risks of Unexpected Infant Death.
There, our role will be to provide safety information around this, namely, we will advise against sleeping in a soft bed and advise avoiding duvets and pillows. It is recommended that the baby be only on the mother's side rather than between mom and dad, etc., there are a whole host of proposals.
So the choice must be made based on one hand on your desires and your parental values before the baby's arrival and on the other hand, on the reality of what you will experience with baby when he or she arrives.
At Fée Dodo, we nuance our responses according to the desires and experiences of parents after the arrival of a child.
Practice co-sleeping if everyone finds their own sleep rhythm, otherwise, separate the rooms for the well-being of the baby and that of the parents.
How to create an effective sleep routine?
Here is a typical ritual, by age, to apply every day of the week , which usually works well depending on the development of babies but it is important to tell each family that it is really necessary to repeat the same actions in the same way. , regardless of who puts the child to bed and in the same order.
- As a typical ritual for little ones (from 3 months to 17 months) , we recommend, half an hour before bedtime, to start with a bath. Immersion in water is truly a key moment for the child, a feeling which will give him a temporal reference.
Then, after getting out of the bath, practice some skin-to-skin time with a slightly warm towel, hum a little song and put him in his pajamas.
Once in the room, with a subdued atmosphere, it's time to fill your emotional reservoir.
This is also the last feeding time before leaving for the night. Talk to him at the same time, with a desire to put him to sleep and have an interaction, a privileged moment of unique sharing with him, of connection.
Finally, it's time to sing the last song , the baby is just waiting for one thing, to be put down to sleep, the bedtime ritual lasts 20 to 30 minutes .
- For the ritual of adults (from 18 months) , suggest a bath before the meal, around 5 p.m./5:30 p.m., then dinner around 6 p.m. until 6:45 p.m.
Next comes real connection and play time until 7 p.m. We only think about our child, all together or each child with a parent, but not in the bedroom, we are not in the bedtime ritual. It is the time to fill the emotional reservoir that older children particularly need to facilitate the moment of separation.
Then, from 7 p.m. we can start the bedtime ritual, brushing our teeth, washing our faces, etc.
Finally, around 7:10 p.m. , it's time to go to the room, read a story, drink the last bottle if necessary, then go to bed, give each other one last kiss, one last cuddle, we sing the song. little bedtime song and then we say good night and see you tomorrow.
If your baby ever cries, should you let him cry so he can fall asleep?
We do not validate letting the child express his emotions alone in his room.
We suggest that parents listen to their child who has the right not to be happy or not want to sleep. Letting him cry alone doesn't make sense, just like wanting to stop his emotion.
We encourage parents to move away from this role of "sleeper" , which creates a form of intrusion into the child's sleep and their ability to fall asleep without taking into account the power issues that can result from this.
If the child cries at bedtime, it is important to listen to him and accompany him closely, in the emotion he has to express but without trying to stop the emotion or put his child to sleep.
Once the emotion has passed, leave the child and reassure him of his ability to fall asleep alone.
If it was a baby who needed to discharge, he will have discharged and falling asleep will be easier.
What to do if night wakings are too frequent?
If they are too frequent (apart from the feeding needs of toddlers), we recommend calling on a professional to be supported and understand the problem in order to be able to resolve it.
In what situation and when should you consult a professional?
From the moment when, I understood with all the previous answers, that there is a real sleep problem and after having consulted experts such as the pediatrician or the doctor who follows the child to verify that there is no pathological sleep disorder and possibly having consulted an ENT at the same time, for sleep apnea.
What is support at Fée Dodo?
We offer hand-in-hand support for parents of babies aged 3 months and over . With this service, you will be able to let go and rely on the expertise of a consultant who will guide you and give you all the information necessary to understand your child's sleep issues.
We always start with a (free) assessment appointment to check that we can support you. You will then receive a questionnaire of around a hundred questions to understand all the issues surrounding your specific problems. A tailor-made sleep plan will then be presented to you during a videoconference and marks the start of the support. We will then be with you every moment, every victory, every doubt, every question. We will move forward step by step until you have the keys in hand to find serenity on your own path.
Our video programs allow you to obtain information at a lower cost and our one-off consultations allow you to discuss with one of our Sleep Fairies to deepen a given piece of information and resolve a situation. ( To find out more : https://www.feedodo.fr/nos-webinaires/ )
Fée Dodo's missions include the democratization of knowledge about sleep with nuanced information and parental support, accessible remotely with one of our Sleep Fairies. (To find out more : https://www.feedodo.fr/consultations-ponctuelles-sommeil-bebe/ )
You can also download our summary table of sleep times based on your child's age.
We always start with a (free) assessment appointment to check that we can support you.
