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- What are the symptoms of pregnancy denial?
- How can you tell if you are experiencing pregnancy denial?
- Overcoming pregnancy denial
What are the symptoms of pregnancy denial?
In general, a pregnancy is quite easy to spot, even if you're not particularly in "trying for a baby" mode! A missed period is a first telltale sign, followed by unmistakable changes: breasts become tender or even painful, nausea and fatigue of the first trimester appear, and your jeans quickly become a little tight.
In a case of pregnancy denial, none of these symptoms occur , making it difficult to detect . The expectant mother does not experience weight gain, her body shape does not change, she does not feel the baby's movements, and she does not notice the appearance of melasma (the "mask of pregnancy"). There is no amenorrhea, meaning no absence of menstruation . The body remains the same, and daily life continues completely normally, without giving any indication of the major changes taking place inside.
There are different types of pregnancy denial. We distinguish between partial pregnancy denial (the pregnancy is discovered between the second trimester and the due date) and total pregnancy denial : it is then discovered at the time of delivery, when the pregnant woman seeks emergency care for abdominal pains which turn out to be labor contractions.
Pregnancy denial is not a pathology; since 1985, it has been considered a psychiatric disorder, an unconscious phenomenon rooted in psychological mechanisms. The psyche blocks the manifestations of pregnancy to deny its reality and prevent the woman from being aware of it. This unconscious defense and protection mechanism is triggered for reasons specific to each individual, which may stem from a difficult personal history, past or present traumas such as rape or acts of violence, or a complex relationship with the body, femininity, motherhood, or sexuality.
How can you tell if you are experiencing pregnancy denial?
This psychological pregnancy disorder can affect all women , regardless of their age, socio-professional category, lifestyle… It can affect women who already have children, as well as first-time mothers!
A few subtle signs can indicate pregnancy denial: for example, a pregnant woman may complain of intestinal pain (which is actually the baby's movement) or back pain (because the belly remains flat, the uterus stretches upwards and the fetus develops along the spine, which can cause lower back pain). These signs are very subtle and are not necessarily immediately associated with pregnancy, especially since the brain tends to diminish sensations : the characteristic kicks of babies are often misinterpreted and, according to pregnant women, are more like gurgling sounds or intestinal discomfort.
The illusion is so convincing that those around you (your partner, colleagues, friends, etc.) also fail to notice any changes, and doctors or midwives may even miss the diagnosis during routine checkups. The pregnancy may even be discovered incidentally during another medical examination. Therefore, the only way to know for sure if you are experiencing pregnancy denial is to take a home pregnancy test or have a blood test, as hormone levels remain the most reliable indicators.
Overcoming pregnancy denial
Learning about a pregnancy at an advanced stage is akin to a real psychological shock , not always easy to overcome.
On the one hand, there's the guilt of not having noticed anything. Mandatory prenatal care and medical examinations, such as ultrasounds, weren't performed on schedule, and memorable moments of pregnancy were missed, which is truly heartbreaking for some women. Unaware of her condition, the expectant mother may not have paid attention to her lifestyle (smoking, alcohol, unauthorized medications, etc.) or her diet, which can add to the stress regarding her baby's health .
On the other hand, bonding with the child is more difficult . Some women are shocked to learn of their pregnancy late, especially if they didn't particularly want children at that point in their lives. The fetus is then seen as an obstacle to their plans.
To help you overcome the challenge of pregnancy denial, your support network plays a crucial role . It's essential that the expectant father, the other mother, or your loved ones support you with preparations, purchasing baby equipment (which needs to be done quickly), and, if the denial is complete, help you care for the baby after leaving the maternity ward and settle in. If you're not in a relationship, don't hesitate to ask a close friend or family member to be with you during the birth. You'll likely want to hold a familiar hand when your baby is born.
You will also need support during your postpartum period, like any new mother, to allow your body time to recover from childbirth. Don't hesitate to accept help from your loved ones!
If you don't have a sympathetic ear nearby, or if you feel the need to talk to someone outside your family and friends, don't hesitate to seek help from a psychologist who can help you accept the situation. Support groups and associations are also available.
In any case, rest assured : studies show that pregnancy denial generally has little impact on newborns and mothers after childbirth. Maternal instinct often takes over after birth, and once the initial shock has passed, the infant naturally finds their place in the family, relegating the pregnancy denial to a distant, unpleasant memory for the new parents in most cases!
