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Home › Daylily Mag › Céline and Alex: welcoming a child into a same-sex family
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Céline et Alex : accueillir un enfant dans une famille homoparentale

Céline and Alex: welcoming a child into a same-sex family

December 02, 2024 Léonie Houot

We accompanied Céline and Alex, from the @inherarms account, during their pregnancy. They share with us their journey as a same-sex parent family, from their desire to have children to the arrival of their son Austin, as well as their vision of education.

This pretty family photo was taken by @renaud.photographie

Daylily Paris is a brand of clean, sensory and effective skincare products, made in France and 100% compatible with pregnancy and breastfeeding. We are also keen to share quality information for informed and uninhibited motherhood. 🧡

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Les Bulles Lavantes
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  1. Could you introduce your family?
  2. How many years have you been together?
  3. When did the desire to have children appear?
  4. Have you ever questioned this project because of fear of judgment from others?
  5. How did the pregnancy go?
  6. What memories do you have of Austin's birth and your first days as a threesome?
  7. Did you quickly find your feet as mothers?
  8. What has motherhood given you?
  9. Did you both have rather similar or distant upbringings?
  10. Do you have the same vision for education for Austin?
  11. What values ​​do you particularly want to pass on to your son?
  12. Finally, what does family mean to you?

Could you introduce your family?

I'm Céline, and Alex and I are a Breton couple from the Paris region. We have lived in Brittany for several years. We welcomed our little boy Austin a year ago now!

How many years have you been together?

We have been together since July 4, 2015, so we have been a couple for almost 8 years. It will also be exactly 3 years of marriage because we got married on July 4, 2020.

When did the desire to have children appear?

When we got together, we talked pretty quickly about having a child. Maybe it's also because we are women and we are somehow conditioned to think about motherhood, but we really talked about it quite quickly. We were already talking about having a child together, about his education. We also knew that having a child could take several years even if it wasn't yet the right time in our lives. We wanted to travel, enjoy together and then have a home to welcome our child. Austin therefore arrived at the end of 7 years of relationship, which allowed us to form a solid and anchored couple from the outset. We also had to get married to give both of us the same rights with regard to our child.

Have you ever questioned this project because of fear of judgment from others?

We never questioned this project because of fear of judgment. On the other hand, maybe we would have had a child before if we had been a heterosexual couple because we had to go through a PMA process. We knew this in advance, unlike some straight couples who try before having to turn to a PMA course, which increases the time before welcoming a child. But even knowing it from the start, it held us back. On the one hand financially, but also because of the fear of the unknown, we had to find out about PMA, about foreign clinics, etc.

We were aware that the journey was going to be strewn with pitfalls and costly.

How did the pregnancy go?

The pregnancy went very well! We were very scared because neither of us wanted to become pregnant. We knew we wanted a child, that we were going to love him with all our hearts, but we didn't necessarily want to be pregnant. It was probably linked to fear of the unknown. But ultimately, the pregnancy went very well from a physical and psychological point of view. When I got pregnant, we were euphoric. But when we got the results of the blood test which confirmed the pregnancy, I had a big moment of panic. I am naturally anxious and the questions were numerous: how will my body change? Am I going to be a good mother? All these questions are rather taboo, but many mothers experience these anxieties. As soon as we heard his heart at the first echo, those anxieties went away. Everything went very well afterwards, Alex really took care of me and it's thanks to her that I was able to experience this pregnancy like this. I was stopped very early due to the pressure I was under at work, my blood pressure was too high. It was the only time in my life I stopped. I felt a lot of guilt, but if I had to do it again, I would do it without hesitation. This is perhaps the only pregnancy I will experience in my life so for once I listened to the medical profession and I took care of myself. We were able to take the opportunity to discuss, learn about the pregnancy, we also took haptonomy lessons so that Alex could communicate with our son. He answered her, it was impressive. It’s great for creating a bond between the co-parent and the baby in utero!

What memories do you have of Austin's birth and your first days as a threesome?

I was also dreading the birth, I was very anxious. I haven't documented myself at all, either about childbirth or breastfeeding. But once again it went very well. Alex was great, she really supported me as best she could and she was a pillar for me. She was able to cut the cord and provide first aid to Austin. We did skin to skin, 2 hours each, in the birthing room. It was an unforgettable moment. The first days were also magical, we were in our cocoon. Alex stayed in the maternity ward with us, she slept in the room until we left. It was necessary because post-pregnancy was very complicated for me. She took care of Austin, she changed him and I breastfed. The first week was very trying. We were euphoric so we couldn't sleep well, but we had to take care of a newborn at the same time, it was intense.

Did you quickly find your feet as mothers?

Yes, very quickly we found our feet as mothers, as a family. Today, a year later, we are truly an incredible team. We often talk about the fragility of the couple after the birth of a child, for our part it has really strengthened us and our love is even stronger.

What has motherhood given you?

It's a complicated question. She brought us everything, at least everything in a tenfold way. Love, fatigue, fear. Alex puts things into perspective, but for my part I felt a lot of guilt during his first fall, his first injury. I felt guilty when you can't be master of everything.

All feelings are heightened. But motherhood is so much happiness, I don't think it can be explained, it has to be experienced.

Did you both have rather similar or distant upbringings?

We had rather distant educations, but I think there was good and bad on both sides and today that helps us find stability in the education we want to give. I think there is no good or bad education, there are just parents who learn. It’s a blessing to have had such different upbringings. They really allow us to provide the education that we deem suitable for Austin.

Do you have the same vision for education for Austin?

We have totally the same vision of education. We are very similar and we have the same expectations, the same desires and we try to have a caring education. We communicate a lot about our emotions, it is essential for us to give Austin the opportunity to express himself. We try to support him as best we can so that he doesn't feel frustrated at not being able to say what he feels. I think that our common visions of education contribute greatly to why everything goes so well.

What values ​​do you particularly want to pass on to your son?

Love, sharing, kindness, communication and caring for others and nature. Without all that, we are nothing and that is what matters most to us.

Finally, what does family mean to you?

Family means everything to us. This family that we are building is our core.

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Baby is 12 months old: what are his new learnings?

Bien vivre son post-partum :

Skin to skin with baby, what are the benefits?

Lifestyle et grossesse :

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Lifestyle et grossesse :

How to announce your pregnancy to your older child?

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